Family dispute resolution (FDR / mediation)

Family dispute resolution (FDR) is a form of mediation designed to help separated parents sort out arrangements for their children without a judge deciding for them. For most families it is the step that resolves things, and for parenting matters it is a step the law generally requires you to take before you can apply to court.

What FDR is

FDR is a structured, assisted negotiation run by an independent, nationally accredited Family Dispute Resolution Practitioner (FDRP). The practitioner does not take sides, does not give either parent legal advice, and does not decide the outcome. Their job is to help both parents talk through the practical questions — where the children live, who they spend time and communicate with, how holidays and handovers work, and how the big decisions get made — and to help you reach your own agreement.

The focus of FDR is squarely on the children. A good practitioner will keep bringing the conversation back to what the children need rather than to who was right about the past. That child-focused framing matches the way the court itself now approaches parenting since the 2024 family law changes: the child’s best interests come first, and their safety is the paramount consideration. There is no starting assumption of equal (50/50) time.

Why you generally must try FDR first

The Family Law Act requires separating families who disagree about children — for example where a child will live, who they will spend time with, and other arrangements for their care — to make a genuine effort to resolve the dispute through FDR before applying to a court for parenting orders. Unless an exemption applies, you cannot start parenting proceedings without either a section 60I certificate from an accredited practitioner or an exemption granted by the court.

The reasoning is practical. Court is slow, expensive and stressful, and an outcome imposed by a judge is rarely as workable as one the parents build themselves. Agreements reached in FDR tend to last longer because both parents helped shape them, and the children are spared the strain of a contested case.

Intake and assessment for safety and suitability

Before any joint session, the practitioner conducts an intake and assessment with each parent separately. This is a private conversation that usually covers what the issues are, what you are hoping to achieve, and — importantly — screening for safety. The practitioner asks about family violence, control, and any concerns for the children so they can decide whether FDR is appropriate and, if so, how to run it safely.

If the practitioner forms the view that it is not appropriate to conduct FDR — for example where someone cannot negotiate freely because of a history of family violence or fear — they do not have to proceed. In that situation they can issue a certificate saying FDR was not appropriate. If you have safety concerns, raise them clearly at intake. See family violence and parenting for more on how safety is handled.

How sessions run

FDR is flexible in format, and the right format depends on your circumstances:

• Joint sessions — both parents in the same room (or the same video call) with the practitioner. This is the most common format where it is safe and both parents can negotiate freely.
• Shuttle sessions — the parents are kept in separate rooms and the practitioner moves between them carrying offers and information. Shuttle is often used where there are safety concerns, a power imbalance, or high conflict, so the parents never have to be face to face.
• Phone, video or in person — many services offer FDR by telephone or video as well as in person, which can help where the parents live far apart or where being in the same building would feel unsafe.

If you would feel safer or negotiate better in shuttle rather than a joint room, you can request shuttle. You do not have to justify it in detail; a practitioner focused on a workable outcome will usually accommodate a reasonable request.

Confidentiality and “without prejudice”

FDR is generally confidential, and communications made during it usually cannot be used as evidence in court. This “without prejudice” protection exists so that parents can explore options and make offers freely without worrying that a concession will be used against them later.

There are limited exceptions. Broadly, a practitioner may be permitted or required to disclose information where it is necessary to:

• prevent or lessen a serious threat to a person’s life, health or safety
• report that a child has been abused or is at risk of abuse
• prevent the commission of a serious offence.

The precise boundaries of confidentiality and admissibility are set by the Family Law Act, and a section 60I certificate itself is not evidence — it simply records that FDR was attempted. Ask your practitioner to explain exactly how confidentiality applies in your matter, and confirm the current position with a lawyer if it matters to your case.

Exemptions — when FDR is not required

You can ask the court for an exemption from filing a certificate. Broadly, you may be eligible where:

• your matter is urgent
• there are reasonable grounds to believe there has been child abuse or family violence, or there is a risk of family violence, or a risk of child abuse if there were a delay in applying
• one or both parties are unable to participate effectively in FDR (for example because of incapacity or physical remoteness from a provider)
• your application relates to an alleged contravention of a parenting order made in the last 12 months, where there are reasonable grounds to believe the other party has shown serious disregard for their obligations under that order.

To rely on an exemption you generally file an Affidavit – Non-Filing of Family Dispute Resolution Certificate setting out the ground you rely on (or, if you are filing an Initiating Application seeking interim orders at the same time, you can explain the exemption in your supporting affidavit). If a registrar decides you are not eligible, your parenting application can be rejected for filing, so get advice before relying on an exemption. See the section 60I certificate for detail on certificates and exemptions.

Court-based dispute resolution

FDR before you file is not the only mediation you may encounter. Once a case is on foot, the court can refer parents to further dispute resolution as part of its case-management pathway — sometimes internal (such as a conciliation conference or a court-ordered mediation) and sometimes back out to an external practitioner. In other words, the court actively encourages settlement at several points, not just at the start.

What a good outcome looks like

The best outcome of FDR is a parenting plan — a written record of what the two of you have agreed about the children. A parenting plan is flexible and can be as detailed as you like. Importantly, a parenting plan is not a court order. It is not enforceable in the way orders are, unless you take the further step of turning it into consent orders by applying to the court. If you want an agreement that binds like an order, read parenting plans, consent orders and court orders.

How to prepare

Preparation is what separates a frustrating session from a productive one:

• Know your goal. Be clear in your own mind about the arrangement you are actually seeking and why it serves the children.
• Bring a specific proposal. A concrete draft (for example, a week-by-week routine, plus holidays and special days) is far easier to negotiate than a vague wish.
• Separate must-haves from flexibles. Decide in advance what you genuinely cannot move on (often safety-related) and where you can compromise. Room to give on the flexibles is what gets agreements over the line.
• Stay child-focused and calm. Frame every proposal in terms of the children’s needs, not your grievances. Avoid raking over the relationship.
• Request shuttle if you need it. If a joint room would not be safe or productive, ask for shuttle, or a phone or video format.
• Get legal advice first. A lawyer can help you understand what is realistic and what to prioritise so you negotiate from an informed position.

The toolkit’s mediation preparation feature can help you organise your goal, your proposal and your fallbacks before you go in.

If it does not resolve

Not every dispute settles, and that is not a failure. If you cannot reach agreement — or the practitioner decides FDR is not appropriate — they can issue a section 60I certificate. That certificate is what lets you file an application for parenting orders. The court can also take into account whether each parent made a genuine effort, including when deciding costs, so approaching FDR constructively matters even if it does not resolve. Read the section 60I certificate for the next step.

Costs

Costs vary. Government-funded services such as Family Relationship Centres and community-based providers often offer FDR free or on a low, income-based sliding scale, while private practitioners charge fees that the parents usually share. If cost is a barrier, tell the service — subsidised options exist. To find a provider, call the Family Relationship Advice Line on 1800 050 321 or visit familyrelationships.gov.au.

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This guide is general information, not legal advice. Family law can change, and how the rules apply depends on your circumstances. Confirm current requirements with the Federal Circuit and Family Court of Australia or a family lawyer.