Representing yourself in the Family Court

Running a parenting matter without a lawyer can feel daunting, but it is common and manageable. Plenty of parents represent themselves in the Federal Circuit and Family Court of Australia (FCFCOA), and the court is used to helping self-represented people find their way. This guide explains what to expect, what the court expects of you, and where to get help so you are not doing it entirely alone.

Self-representation is common and manageable

If you represent yourself, you will usually be called a self-represented or unrepresented litigant. The most important thing to understand up front is this: an unrepresented litigant has the same obligations and responsibilities as a lawyer. The court will make reasonable allowances for the fact that you are not legally trained, but it will not lower the standards that keep the process fair for everyone, including your children and the other parent.

Preparation is what makes the difference. The parents who do well without a lawyer are the ones who read the court’s material, meet every deadline, keep their documents tidy and stay calm in the room. None of that requires a law degree — it requires organisation and self-discipline.

What to expect

A parenting matter moves through a series of court events — a first court date, possibly one or more interim hearings, court-based dispute resolution, and, if it does not resolve, a final hearing. Along the way, a registrar or judge will make directions (orders about what each party must do and by when). For an overview of the stages, see how parenting matters work and your first court date.

Expect to do a fair amount of reading, to file documents in a set form and by set dates, and to speak briefly and to the point when the court asks you to. Hearings are often shorter and more procedural than people imagine — much of the real work happens in the documents you file beforehand.

Your obligations

Two obligations sit at the heart of running your own case properly.

The duty of disclosure. Each party must give full and frank disclosure of all information relevant to the case, in a timely way. That means you cannot pick and choose the documents and facts that suit you — you must disclose the relevant ones even when they are unhelpful. Failing to disclose can seriously damage your credibility and your case.

Complying with the court’s case management rules and timetable. The FCFCOA runs its cases under a Central Practice Direction that sets out how family law matters are to be managed, along with the directions made in your particular case. You are expected to:

• read and follow the Central Practice Direction and any other relevant practice directions;
• do what the court’s directions require by the dates set;
• file and serve your documents on time and in the correct form; and
• come to each court event prepared, having read the other side’s material.

If you genuinely cannot meet a deadline, tell the court and the other party early rather than simply missing it.

Preparing your documents well

Your written material does most of the heavy lifting, so give it real care.

• Your Initiating Application (or Response) sets out the orders you are asking the court to make. Make them clear, specific and realistic.
• Your affidavit is your evidence — a first-person account of the relevant facts. Keep it factual, chronological and free of insults or argument. Stick to what you personally saw, heard or did, and attach the documents you rely on. For how to do this properly, see affidavits in parenting matters.
• Keep good records as you go — a calm, dated log of events is far more persuasive than memory. See keeping records.

Neat, focused, child-centred documents are read more favourably than long, angry ones. Less is often more.

Court etiquette

How you conduct yourself matters. Simple courtesy and preparation go a long way.

• Arrive early. Allow time for security screening and finding the right courtroom. Being late is stressful and looks bad.
• Dress neatly. Business or smart-casual clothing shows respect for the court.
• Address the court correctly. Address a judge as “Your Honour.” A registrar is usually addressed as “Registrar” — if you are unsure, court staff can tell you the right form before you go in.
• Be respectful and let people finish. Do not interrupt, talk over people, or argue with the other party in the courtroom. Speak to the court, not to your ex.
• Wait your turn and speak clearly. When it is your turn, be brief, stay on the point the court has asked about, and stop when you have made it.
• Turn your phone off, and follow any directions from court staff about recording, which is generally not permitted.

If the other side says something you disagree with, resist the urge to jump in. Make a quick note and raise it calmly when it is your turn.

Stay calm, child-focused and constructive

The court is deciding what is in your child’s best interests, with the child’s safety the paramount consideration. Everything you say and write is more persuasive when it is framed around the child rather than around grievances with the other parent.

Keep the temperature down. Being reasonable, showing you can support your child’s relationship with the other parent where it is safe, and offering practical proposals all reflect well on you. Scoring points does not.

Getting limited or one-off legal help

Representing yourself does not have to mean going it completely alone. You can get help at key moments without paying for a lawyer to run the whole case:

• Duty lawyers at court can give free, on-the-spot help on a court day, especially through services for people affected by family violence. They cannot usually run your whole case, but they can assist at a hearing.
• Legal Aid commissions in each state and territory provide free information, and legal advice or representation for people who meet their means and guidelines.
• Community legal centres offer free advice and sometimes casework, depending on capacity and your circumstances.
• The Family Relationship Advice Line (1800 050 321) provides information about the family law system and can point you to services, including family dispute resolution.
• Private lawyers for a one-off consult or “unbundled” help can review your documents, give you focused advice, or coach you for a hearing, while you do the day-to-day running yourself. This can be a cost-effective middle ground.

Getting even a single session of tailored advice at the right moment can save you a great deal of trouble.

Help and resources at court and online

The FCFCOA website has a dedicated section for people representing themselves, along with fact sheets, brochures, the court rules and practice directions, and the forms you will need. Court registry staff can help you with process and procedure — where to file, what form to use, what a direction means — but they cannot give you legal advice or tell you what to argue. Knowing that boundary saves frustration: use registry staff for the “how”, and a lawyer or Legal Aid for the “what should I do”.

The cross-examination protection in family violence cases

There is an important protection you should know about if family violence is part of your case. Where certain circumstances apply — for example, one party has been convicted of or charged with a violent offence against the other, a final family violence order is in place between the parties, or the court makes an order to that effect — the law bans the parties from personally cross-examining each other at a hearing.

In plain terms, this means neither party can stand up and question the other directly. Instead, the questioning must be done by a lawyer, and there is a Commonwealth scheme (administered through Legal Aid) to help arrange a lawyer for that purpose where a party does not already have one. The aim is to protect people from being questioned directly by someone who has harmed or frightened them, while still allowing the evidence to be properly tested.

This area is technical, and whether it applies turns on the facts of your case. If family violence features in your matter, ask a registrar or the court how the cross-examination rules apply to you, and get advice early. See family violence and parenting for more on how safety is handled.

Common pitfalls to avoid

• Missing deadlines or turning up unprepared — this is the most common and most avoidable problem.
• Writing angry, sprawling affidavits full of opinion and insult instead of clear, relevant facts.
• Holding back documents that are unhelpful — this breaches your duty of disclosure and destroys credibility.
• Arguing with the other parent in the courtroom or in correspondence.
• Asking for unrealistic orders rather than a sensible, child-focused arrangement.
• Ignoring the practice directions and forms, then being sent away to do it again.
• Trying to do everything alone when a single session of legal advice would have set you straight.

Looking after your wellbeing

Family law matters are stressful, and looking after yourself is not a luxury — it helps you think clearly and behave well in front of the court. Lean on trusted friends and family, keep up your routines, and get professional help if you are struggling.

If you are having a hard time, support is available any time:

• Lifeline — 13 11 14
• MensLine Australia — 1300 789 978

If you or your children are in immediate danger, call 000.

Where to go next

Build your case on solid foundations: prepare strong affidavits, know what happens on your first court date, and keep calm, dated records from the start.

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This guide is general information, not legal advice. The law and court procedures change, and every family is different. Confirm current requirements with the Federal Circuit and Family Court of Australia or a qualified family lawyer, and get advice about your own circumstances before acting.