Family violence and parenting orders

Safety comes first in every parenting matter. If you or your children are in immediate danger, call 000 now. This guide is general information, not legal advice, and it is written to be useful whether you are worried about your own safety or responding to concerns raised about you.

What “family violence” means in family law

Many people think family violence only means being hit. The Family Law Act 1975 defines it far more broadly. Family violence is violent, threatening or other behaviour by a person that coerces or controls a family member, or causes them to be fearful.

It can include:

• physical assault, or threats of it;
• sexual assault or other sexually abusive behaviour;
• emotional or psychological abuse, such as repeated put-downs, threats, or stalking;
• financial abuse, such as controlling or withholding money, or preventing someone from working;
• coercive control — a pattern of behaviour designed to dominate and take away another person’s freedom and sense of self;
• damaging property, or hurting or threatening pets;
• preventing a family member from contacting friends, family or their culture; and
• exposing a child to any of the above.

A child is affected by family violence if they see or hear it, or otherwise experience its effects — for example, seeing a parent frightened, or seeing damaged property afterwards. You do not have to prove a criminal offence for behaviour to count as family violence in the family law system.

Safety is now the paramount consideration

The Family Law Amendment Act 2023 commenced on 6 May 2024. It reshaped how the Court decides parenting matters. Two changes matter most here:

• The child’s safety — including safety from family violence, abuse and neglect — is at the top of the list of things the Court must consider when working out what is in a child’s best interests.
• The old presumption of “equal shared parental responsibility” was removed. There is no starting point that parents will share decision-making equally, and there was never an automatic right to equal (50/50) time. The Court looks at what actually keeps this child safe and promotes their wellbeing.

In practice this means safety concerns are central, not a side issue. If you have genuine concerns, you should raise them clearly. If concerns have been raised about you, the answer is not to be defensive but to focus on what you are doing to make your children safe.

State protection orders and federal parenting orders

Australia has two systems that deal with family safety, and they do different jobs.

State and territory protection orders are made by local or magistrates courts, often with police involvement. They go by different names in different places:

• Intervention orders (Victoria, South Australia);
• Apprehended Domestic Violence Orders (AVOs) (New South Wales);
• Domestic Violence Orders (DVOs) (Queensland, Northern Territory, ACT); and
• Family Violence Restraining Orders (FVROs) (Western Australia).

These orders are about protection. They can stop a person from contacting, approaching or threatening a protected person. Police can charge someone who breaches one.

Federal parenting orders are made by the Federal Circuit and Family Court of Australia (FCFCOA). They deal with where a child lives, who they spend time with, and how decisions about them are made.

How the two systems interact

A court making parenting orders must consider any family violence orders that apply to the child or a member of the child’s family. Family violence is one of the most important things the Court weighs.

Sometimes a protection order and a parenting order appear to clash — for example, a protection order says a parent must not go near the other parent, but a parenting order requires a changeover between them. Under section 68R of the Family Law Act, a state court can revive, vary, discharge or suspend a parenting order when it makes or changes a protection order, so the two fit together. This does not happen automatically, and it can be legally complex, so get advice if your orders seem to conflict. Parenting orders can also be changed by the FCFCOA where circumstances have changed.

The key point: tell each court about the orders made by the other. Courts work better, and children are safer, when everyone has the full picture.

Telling the Court about safety — the Notice of risk

When you file a parenting application (an Initiating Application, a Response, or an Application for Consent Orders seeking parenting orders), you must also file a Notice of Child Abuse, Family Violence or Risk. This is a mandatory form. It is how you formally tell the Court about any allegations of family violence, child abuse or risk of harm.

If a new risk arises after you file, you are obliged to file a new Notice. Keep it current. This is covered further in applying for parenting orders.

How the Court screens for risk

The FCFCOA runs a national safety initiative called the Lighthouse approach. When you file an application seeking parenting orders, all parties are invited to complete a confidential risk screen called Family DOORS Triage. It asks about a range of safety risks, including family violence, mental health, child abuse or neglect, and drug or alcohol misuse.

Based on the screening and the material filed, matters are triaged by level of risk. The highest-risk matters may be referred to the Evatt List — a specialist court list designed for families identified as being at high risk of family violence and other safety concerns. The Evatt List focuses on early information-gathering and intervention from the very start of the case, with specially trained judges and registrars.

Completing the risk screen honestly helps the Court manage your matter safely. It is not a test to pass or fail; it is a way to make sure the right supports and safeguards are in place.

Making time with children safe

Concerns about safety do not always mean a child stops seeing a parent. Often the Court’s focus is on making time safe, so the relationship can continue without exposing anyone to harm. Options include:

• Supervised time, where another trusted adult or a professional is present;
• a children’s contact centre, which provides a neutral, supervised place for visits or changeovers;
• safe or supported changeover, such as handovers at a public place, a police station car park, or through a third person, so the parents do not have to meet;
• communicating only through a co-parenting app, which keeps a calm, written record and avoids direct contact — see co-parenting communication apps; and
• conditions on time, such as no alcohol or drugs beforehand, or a person not being present.

Safe arrangements can be a stepping stone. As trust is rebuilt and risks are managed, arrangements can change over time.

Men can be victims too

Family violence is not defined by gender. Men can be victims, and anyone can be a person of concern. If you are a father experiencing controlling, threatening or abusive behaviour, that is family violence and your safety matters. It can be hard to speak up, but support exists and asking for help is a strength, not a weakness.

Being honest and specific in your evidence

If you raise safety concerns, be specific, factual and honest. Say what happened, when, where, and what effect it had — especially on the children. Vague or exaggerated claims can undermine an otherwise genuine concern and damage your credibility. On the other hand, downplaying real risk can leave children unsafe.

Keep a calm, dated record of incidents, messages and relevant events. Good record-keeping turns a general worry into evidence the Court can act on. See keeping records for how to do this well.

If a child has been taken or withheld and you fear for their safety, you may also need to act quickly — see recovery orders.

Where to get help

• 000 — for an emergency or immediate danger.
• 1800RESPECT — 1800 737 732, national domestic, family and sexual violence counselling, 24/7.
• MensLine Australia — 1300 789 978, support for men, including men affected by or using family violence.
• Men’s Referral Service — 1300 766 491, for men who want to stop using violent or controlling behaviour, and for men who are victims.
• Lifeline — 13 11 14, for crisis support.

Family violence law is complex and the details matter. Confirm the current forms and requirements with the FCFCOA (fcfcoa.gov.au) and, where you can, get advice from a family lawyer or a community legal service. In an emergency, always call 000.